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A very embarrassing dream

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trump affair

I feel I need to preface this dream with some sort of disclaimer. Partly as a disclaimer, and partly so that the first line or so that shows up in the Facebook preview does not embarrass me. You have to come here to embarrass me.

So, last night I dreamt I was having an affair with… wait for it… Donald Trump. IT WAS NOT A SEX DREAM!! He landed his huge big helicopter in my town, and invited me in, but said he was too busy campaigning to socialise, so I could just take a nap inside his helicopter.

trump affair 2

So it was actually a lovely dream, because I got to nap on this giant bed, with nobody disturbing me. I was planning to break up with him when he finished campaigning and did have time to socialise, but for now, the naps were goooood. And his helicopter was called the T-rump.

Giraffe head

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Giraffe head 1

So M came home from work with a little something for us to play with.

Giraffe head 2

He’d found it on the side of the road and thought it would make a fun toy.

Giraffe head 3

He even had plans to stop it rotting like normal dead giraffe heads do…

Stripey car

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stripey car 1

I was having a very complicated dream about a table tennis competition where the competitors had to wear sheep suits, and me riding a train naked (because they’d run out of sheep suits) and wrapping myself in toilet paper…

stripy car 2

And then I drove a stripey car and nothing else mattered.

Room with a view

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A friend was showing me her new house, on a hill with big picture windows.


While we were admiring the view, we saw an amazing sight:


But then it got weird….




No wedding cake!

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spin the bottle

So it was the wedding for which this was the engagement. Turns out neither the bride nor the groom like wedding cake, so they came up with this alternative. Instead of, you know, chocolate cake, vanilla cake, strawberry cake, carrot cake, red velvet cake (which I KNOW they like), cheese cake, cupcakes, macaroons, cake pops … we had to play Spin the Bottle with Captain Morgan.

Captain Morgan

Library Shenanigans

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This dream was inspired by Lara and Alex’s beautiful engagement photo in a bookshop.

library 1 library 2 library 3 library 4

I was a spectator in this dream,one of the innocent bystanders who had to evacuate quietly so as not to disturb the books.

Dodgy Christmas present

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happy christmasA friend gave me a fleshlight for Christmas, simply because it would be funny in front of my conservative relatives.

happy christmas 2

I tried to explain it away, with my “friend” giggling away in the corner.

happy christmas 3

But that pesky relative wouldn’t stop asking questions!

happy christmas 4

Questions like, “Why is your friend collapsing on the floor?”