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A birthday surprise

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birthday dream

It was my birthday and I was minding my own business,when Michael came into the room with an announcement. He was unbuttoning his shirt…

birthday dream 2

… suspense…

birthday dream 3

He took off his shirt to reveal a full back tattoo.

birthday dream 4

They are not. Palm trees are not my thing. They never have been my thing.

Tattoos are not really my thing either. Especially giant tattoos on someone else’s back for my birthday. Oh my.

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How to catch a snake

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Snake dream 1

I was camping/hiking/hanging out with some people on some sand dunes, and there were loads of snakes in the vegetation. It was very scary, because nobody knew which of the snakes were dangerous, and there were children around.

Snake dream 2

Then along came this man who was going to solve our snake problem by showing us how to catch them.

Snake dream 3

But his advice sounded a little fishy…

Snake dream 4

Okay, a lot fishy.

Snake dream 5

I seem to be having lots of instructional dreams at the moment. Please don’t try this one at home. Or anywhere, really.

Guacamole, anyone?

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Guac dream 1

Somehow, I was hired help for a big party.

Guac dream 2

Guac dream 3

Perhaps, under some circumstances, a bin would be an excellent container to store vast quantities of guacamole for a party.

Guac dream 4

But not these circumstances.

How to eat cheaply for a year

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1 TV dream

So there I was, watching mindless TV, when this piqued my interest. I don’t know if it was reality TV or what, but I was interested.

2

This couple on TV had JUST got married but wanted to interrupt the festivities to teach us how we too could eat cheaply for a year.

3

Curiouser and curiouser.

4

Ooh. Ah. So this couple made a year’s worth of sandwiches from a whole lamb, and other bits and bobs. They’d prepare their sandwiches and freeze them. And eat the same sandwich EVERY NIGHT FOR A YEAR.

A very embarrassing dream

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trump affair

I feel I need to preface this dream with some sort of disclaimer. Partly as a disclaimer, and partly so that the first line or so that shows up in the Facebook preview does not embarrass me. You have to come here to embarrass me.

So, last night I dreamt I was having an affair with… wait for it… Donald Trump. IT WAS NOT A SEX DREAM!! He landed his huge big helicopter in my town, and invited me in, but said he was too busy campaigning to socialise, so I could just take a nap inside his helicopter.

trump affair 2

So it was actually a lovely dream, because I got to nap on this giant bed, with nobody disturbing me. I was planning to break up with him when he finished campaigning and did have time to socialise, but for now, the naps were goooood. And his helicopter was called the T-rump.

Giraffe head

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Giraffe head 1

So M came home from work with a little something for us to play with.

Giraffe head 2

He’d found it on the side of the road and thought it would make a fun toy.

Giraffe head 3

He even had plans to stop it rotting like normal dead giraffe heads do…

Stripey car

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stripey car 1

I was having a very complicated dream about a table tennis competition where the competitors had to wear sheep suits, and me riding a train naked (because they’d run out of sheep suits) and wrapping myself in toilet paper…

stripy car 2

And then I drove a stripey car and nothing else mattered.